Your marriage comes first. I know a lot of mamas have a hard time with this statement, but it really couldn’t be more true. If you raise your children with the example of a healthy relationship, that’s the greatest thing you could ever do for them. If your daughter sees you loving and respecting your husband, that’s the way she will love her future husband. If your son sees your husband loving you and being there for you, that’s how he will be with his future wife. Relationships are important. Everyone usually has one. Most people end up getting married and you want your children to have had a good example of what their marriage should look like. It can save them from loads of heartbreaks.
So that brings me to the best relationship advice I’ve ever heard. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
This book saved my marriage and thousands of marriages around the world…if not millions.
This Christ-centered book focuses on learning how to love your spouse the way they feel loved instead of the way you feel loved. This is a huge revelation. You probably show love to people (not just your spouse) in the way you think love should be shown. That’s okay, but not everyone receives love the same way. For example, my love language is gifts and acts of service and my husband’s is physical touch and words of affirmation. Before I read this book I had no idea what a love language was, so I just showed love the way I thought I should. I would do my husband’s laundry, clean the kitchen or bring him home something nice. And then I wondered why I didn’t really get much of a reaction out of him. My husband also had to learn why, even though I enjoy it, sex didn’t really make me feel loved. Not that sex doesn’t make me feel closer to my husband, it really does. It’s just not the type of thing that makes me feel those butterflies in my tummy.
Ryan and I were going through some hard times and came across the book. We decided to give it a go. We slowly started learning how to make each other feel the love we really already have. He would come home with some flowers or even just a candy bar. I would spend some time snuggling with him. He would do the dishes for me after a long day. I would let him know when he’s doing a great job at something or that he’s simply the best husband I could have asked for. Our relationship began to thrive.
We still follow this book today, but we aren’t perfect. Sometimes we lose sight of what we should be doing for each other, but now we can catch it before things get bad. It’s truly a great read that can save your marriage if you are in hard times or just make it even better if you’re not.
You can get started by going here and taking their quiz to find which love language you are.
There’s also a 5 love languages of children book and I suggest reading that if you have kids.