This is a post about faith. This is a post about having faith in your choices.
Sometimes I get bored and I “stalk” people on Facebook. When I say “stalk” I just mean look through every single one of their pictures and wish I had their life. Is that really considered stalking? The Green Eyed Monster rares its ugly head and I find myself losing faith in the choices I’ve made for myself. I find myself wishing that my life were different or that I just had more. I see their trips to Jamaica and their date nights. I see their parties and their infinite amount of time to put on makeup. I see their perfectly clean homes and their “ease” of life. I start wishing I was them.
As a mom, sometimes it’s hard to come to terms with that fact that I will be doing this for many,many more years. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter more than the air I breathe, but life gets tricky when someone relies on you 24/7. I wake up in the morning because someone is crying for me down the hall. I make breakfast because a little one is tugging at my pajama pants. I get off the couch because someone pooped their diaper. I vacuum the floor because someone got crumbs from her muffins stuck in the carpet. I run the laundry because someone smooshed bananas into every pair of jeans
I own that fit me. There are days that I wake up and I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready to invest myself in someone else completely. There are days where I don’t know if I can do it again. I wake up wishing for the trips and the date nights. I go to bed wishing my day had been easier. But there is one thing I know, and that is…my life is blessed.
I’ve never been to Jamaica and my husband and I haven’t been on a date alone since last year, but the Lord has blessed me in other ways. He has brought me a true form of joy that I could have never known before. He has blessed me with a life better than any Facebook profile or Instagram feed. He has given me the true joy of being a mom.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
Yes, there are some days that I wake up and I don’t know if I can do it again, but I always do. Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:13. So, even though my life isn’t perfect and I don’t have everything in the world I can truly say that:
I wake up in the morning because there is a beautiful little girl waiting to greet me with smiles and laughter at the end of the hall.
I make breakfast so we can sit together and enjoy each other.
I get off the couch because my daughter wants nothing more than to be with me.
I sit in a dark room with the weight of a sleeping baby pressing against my chest, because nothing calms her more than the sound of my heart beating. For she grew inside of me. The Lord Knitted her together inside my womb.
I cry because I have never loved anyone as much as her.
I pray because the Lord has given me more than I ever could have asked for and he deserves all the glory.
I sleep well because I am blessed.
In triumphs and in trials, I know that I am following God and he will not steer me wrong.
So I take a look through my picture and I realize that God has given me my dream life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.